Last updated on: 12/31/2008 | Author:

Scott Long Biography

Sports writer and comedian
Pro to the question "Should Performance-Enhancing Drugs Be Accepted in Sports?"

“What better way to rebuild yourself than to put a few additives in your engine, especially when you have a couple of extra months to flush them out of your system? If teams want you badly enough that they will pay you 18 million a year for just 4 months, the process seems to be perfectly constructed…

Yeah, I will buy that Bonds would never have broken Hank Aaron record without PED’s [performance enhancing drugs]. This still doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have ended up one of the greatest players of all-time… If [Bonds, Clemens, and Armstrong] used performance enhancers or not, they deserve a ton of respect for what they’ve accomplished, as they were just doing what was necessary to win.”

“Tough Kids, Sissy Kids, Even Kids with Chicken Pox Love Steroids,” Baseball Toaster: The Juice Blog (, May 6, 2007

Involvement and Affiliations:
  • Co-founder and sole writer, Baseball Toaster: The Juice Blog, 2004-present
  • Writer, Fox’s NFL Pregame Show, 2003-present
  • Frequent Guest Speaker, ESPN, Sporting News, and Fox Sports Radio
  • Guest Speaker, CNN’s Talkback Live Show, and the Bob and Tom Radio Show
  • Performed comedy acts at IMPROV, Funny Bone, Loony Bin, Comedy Zone, Punchline, Minnesota Comedy Club, Zanies, Giggles, Chaplins, Joey’s, Stanford’s, Crackers, Comedy Caravan, Go Bananas, Stardome, Rivercenter Comedy Club, Laffs, Comedy at the Bob, Connections, Hilarities, Gary Fields Comedy Club, Comedy Forum, Snickers, Jokers, Charlie Goodnight’s, Cozzy’s, Penguins, Jukebox, and Comedy Gallery
  • BA, University of Iowa
  • Scott Long’s 3 Ring Circus, 2007 (comedy DVD)
  • Unsanitized for Your Protection, 2003 (comedy CD)
Quoted in:
  1. Should Stimulants Use Be Accepted in Sports?